Hold My Hand, Take My Heart
by Darkness4Light1
Summary: They drift apart during Blaine's senior year until Kurt happens across a familiar voice and life starts anew


Kurt shoved his hands deeper into the pockets of his thick winter coat as he wandered through The Village, the cold wind whipped around him and chilling him to the bone. It was mid-November in New York so he guessed the weather was normal, he just wished it wasn't so bitter.

The young man's mind wandered back to the summer before this year, when he'd been a graduating senior, rejected by NYADA, the school he and Rachel had set their hopes and dreams, and their relationships aside, for. In the end Rachel went to NYADA and Santana breezed in, picked the devastated Kurt up and spun a new dream of the two of them taking New York by storm, doing it their way instead of 'some sucky school' as she'd told him. They'd gone, promising their other halves things wouldn't change, and tried to make their mark. They'd moved to the West Village and set themselves up, keeping as close as they could to Rachel and gleaning information and tips from her from what she learned in class. They'd had a steady stream of jobs, waitressing for Santana, consulting in a fashion store for Kurt, backing singing for shows, understudying on small parts and baristas when those shows ended. The last year had been a blast. A busy, hectic, stressful blast and despite their promises to Brittany and Blaine, things had changed. Brittany and Santana had broken up, until Brittany came to New York and started working at the coffee shop they'd worked at, filling in for them while they trod the boards and then Kurt completely after he'd landed a part in Anything Goes. The two girls had gotten back together almost immediately.

Kurt and Blaine, however had simply drifted apart. They'd skyped for a while but with Kurt's nights used up and their conflicting schedules working against them they'd just stopped calling each other. Burt had told him it was just one of those things. He'd been sad of course that his son and Blaine hadn't made it; he'd grown close to the honey-eyed teen but had been philosophical about it all. High school love wasn't really supposed to last, no matter how Kurt had seen then end of his life and pictured Blaine beside him at life's main junctures. He sometimes still did but the year had changed him. He had grown up a lot and realised that if he never saw Blaine again, he'd be ok and feel blessed he'd had that time with the gorgeous black-haired man.

He shivered again and checked his watch, 6.53pm. He really should be getting back to the apartment. Kurt turned towards home and started walking, the voices and sounds of passers-by drifting over him, unnoticed until a voice sounded clear above the others. No louder than any of them but a voice that tugged at his heart. A voice he'd listened to for the better part of two years giving friendly advice, joking, singing, laughing, compliments, words of love and desire. A voice that had said I love you for the first time across a coffee table and the last time sadly across a phone line, already submitted to the understanding that Kurt hadn't truly given into himself at the time, that it was over.

"No, yeah I got kinda lost. I'll see you when I get there, promise."

Kurt turned. Stood out of the way of the other people walking up and down the road was Blaine. He was listening to someone on the phone then said goodbye and shoved his phone back into his pocket. Blaine looked around and their eyes met. "Kurt?" His smile widened and Kurt for five seconds felt like running away. Instead he smiled back and walked over to his ex-boyfriend.

"Hi Blaine, how are you?" Kurt looked at him. The last year had done well by Blaine. He looked like he'd gained muscle, the slight roundness to his face that had stuck around seemingly ignoring all of Blaine's visits to the gym was gone, making him even more handsome and his hair was mostly free of the gel that had held it captive for years.

Blaine smiled, evidently happy to see Kurt there. "I'm great thanks. How are you?"

Kurt nodded, cold seeping back through his jeans the longer he stood there. "I'm good thanks, what are you doing here?" He looked the younger man up and down. He'd talked of many places when he'd looked at universities, could it be that he'd joined one of the ones in New York?

Blaine grinned despite himself, a warm, familiar feeling spread itself in his gut from standing so close to Kurt. "I live here now. I go to NYU. I was talking to Rachel, I was supposed to be going to hers but I took the wrong road and got sort of, well, lost. Some things never change."

"Huh," Kurt mumbled thoughtfully. Rachel had never mentioned Blaine being in New York, but then she probably wouldn't have, either from Blaine's choosing or her own, knowing it could hurt Kurt. "Well I'm glad to hear you got into one of the schools you wanted to go to. You deserve it Blaine."

Blaine nodded, bouncing on his toes slightly. "Yeah I know it's great, isn't it? Um…I really should be going before Rachel sends out a search party for me or something as equally scary but can we meet again? I'd really like to talk and know everything you've been doing here."

Kurt nodded and whispered a breathless. "Yes."

He ended up going home with Blaine's phone number in his phone. He and Santana had squealed over it when he got home and thrust his phone into her hand and launched into a breathless rundown of the conversation. She'd made him promise to call Blaine in the next few days to meet at the coffee shop they worked at or she would.

Blaine ends up texting him a few days later. **Hey, are you busy? We should get coffee.**

Kurt looks at his phone and smiles, he has the next two weeks off, he has nothing but time. Yeah, definitely. Do you know the Roasting Plant? I'm on my way there.

**Yeah I know it, on my way. See you soon. Xx**

Kurt stared at the two x's. Did he usually put those on the end of his texts? Kurt tried not to read too much into it and walked into the coffee shop. Immediately Brittany came over, hugged him and went to get his order. Santana waved from where she was taking an order from another table of customers. He sat by the window and looked out, watching for Blaine and lost in thought.

Finally the bell above the door rang and Blaine walked in. Kurt's breath caught. In the daylight the other man looked even more gorgeous than he had the other night. He looked over and Kurt waved, smiling at him despite his nerves and the way his heart was thumping hard in his chest.

Blaine walked over and slid onto the bench next to him. "Hey. How are you?"

Kurt smiled and lifted his coffee to his lips, taking a sip, unintentionally slipping into flirting mode. "I'm good thanks. I should warn you, you're about to be attacked by Brit and Satan."

Blaine's eyes widened and turned to see Brittany bouncing over and Santana wandering over, laughing at her girlfriend. He stood and accepted the hugs they gave him. "Do you guys work here?" He asked, looking between them and Kurt.

"We do now; Kurtie abandoned us to go play with the sailors of Anything Goes." Santana said, flicking her hair over shoulder, speaking coolly and fake-ignoring Kurt's glare.

Kurt giggled over his coffee. "Go away Satan, go torture someone else."

Santana grinned and winked at them both. "I would but you're such an easy target Prancy Smurf." She said, using one of the nicknames she'd given him one at school.

Kurt glared, hips lips twitching. "Leave, before I tell Brit about last weekend."

Santana mock gasped and strutted away, pulling a confused Brittany after her mumbling. "Last weekend?"

Kurt looked back at Blaine who was chuckling. Kurt smiled, Blaine laughing had been one of his favourite things over the time they'd known each other under him singing and the noises he'd made when they made love. Kurt shook himself slightly; he wouldn't start thinking about sex now.

Blaine stopped chuckling and smiled warmly at Kurt, his eyes trailing over the older man. He was still so beautiful, his milky skin glowing under the lights and his glasz eyes that had captured Blaine from the moment they met, even if it had taken him months to realise how much he truly cared about the other man, shone under his lashes. "So you're in Anything Goes? That's amazing Kurt!"

Kurt blushes, and picks at the lid of his coffee cup. "Yeah, it's a swing role and I get to change sometimes if they need me elsewhere but it's good. I'm on my way."

Blaine grins at him and touches his arm. "It's great Kurt; you're doing what you came out here to do. I'm proud of you."

Kurt looks down at Blaine's hand, warm heat seeping through his jacket where it grips him and he blushes again, glancing over at the bar where Santana eyes him excitedly.

Blaine lets go and takes a sip of his coffee before moving slightly closer and Kurt raises an eyebrow before his eyebrows knit together. "Wait, you're hanging out with Rachel, right? Hasn't she told you any of this?"

Blaine blushed and looked down, taking his hand off Kurt's arm. "Yeah, she wanted to tell me. Every time we talked on the phone for the last year then when I moved she wanted to but I was devastated when we broke up and I didn't want to hear it, I guess I hoped one day we'd meet again and you could tell me but the childish, heartbroken side of me didn't want to hear about how well you were doing here, thousands of miles away from me."

Kurt nodded, his eyes wet. "I understand. I was the same about you. Brittney wanted to tell me about you but I refused to hear it. I guess you did well if you're at NYU. What are you studying?"

Blaine glanced down and blushed. "Yeah, I put everything into my school work and getting the best grades and the New Directions. I'm studying music, creative writing and cinema studies."

Kurt smiled, pride flooding his heart. "Nice, impressive. I'm proud of you."

Blaine's eyes are wet when he looks up at Kurt and he's transported back to them standing on the stage at McKinley holding hands, Blaine's voice choking as he told Kurt he wanted the teen to be proud to be with him. "Thank you, Kurt. I always did have a thing about making you proud. I guess since my parents never were and you loved me I wanted to keep you proud, and you never failed me."

Kurt leaned closer, reaching out and taking Blaine's hand. "You're a special man Blaine. I was proud of you but you did so much for me. You made me strong; you gave me confidence and held my hand when I needed you, you gave me so much love and I gave you what you deserved. Love. You were my baby Blai."

Blaine's crying openly, the tears slipping down his face and he's glad they're sitting in the corner by the window so no-one's taking any notice. "And you were mine, Kurt."

They smile at each other, their tears drying up and they drink their coffee silently for a few minutes.

Blaine puts his cup down and Kurt looks at him. Blaine gives him his best 'listen to me' face and Kurt swallows the mouthful of coffee warming his tongue. "Ok, I'm going to address the big, pink elephant in the room here."

Kurt giggles. "I don't think Santana would like that comparison," Blaine gives him a meaningful look and he smiles and puts his finger against his lips. "Sorry, go on."

Blaine takes a deep breath and looks at his cup for a second. He's glad he doesn't wear gel anymore because he's suddenly sweating and his curls are soaking the few bits that appear on his forehead where his gelled hair would've just added to it before. "Kurt we just had the most emotional conversation we've had in a long time and I really, really want to tell you how I feel and put myself on the line here 'cause I know you could reach into my chest and rip my heart out if it goes wrong," He looks up and Kurt gives him a watery smile. "When we drifted apart it hurt so badly. I was angry at you but so angry at myself too. You promised me you'd never say goodbye and I wouldn't lose you but I was so selfish. You were a great boyfriend and I was so insecure, I demanded things from you but I did something so horrible to you. I pulled away from you because I was getting ready to live without you. Who does that?" He looked at Kurt and the glasz eyed man shrugged. "I know we made up and we were good but I let you go. You were so busy trying to make it I just wanted you to be there for me. I was so stupid and selfish. I changed, Kurt. I spent the last year changing. I got strength from our time apart and I'm less selfish, I know what real love is and what we had was, but we weren't ready or good enough for it. I'm ranting I know but I really wanted to tell you how I feel. I still love you and I always will Kurt. I love you." He looked beseechingly at Kurt, his heart figuratively lying spread across the table, ready to be healed or ripped apart by his gorgeous ex.

Kurt blinked, tears slipping down his cheeks. He'd spent a lot of time coming to terms with the same things. They'd been so naïve. He took a breath and slipped his hand into Blaine's, looking from their hands up to the hopeful eyes of the younger man. "Blaine I spent the last year thinking the same things, not about you being selfish, though you were, we both were. We wanted to keep each other and, oh, I wanted you to myself so much. I wasn't fair to you either, I should have talked instead of flirting with that guy but my defences aren't tied to my logic," He smiled and Blaine laughed. "You were a great boyfriend, we were great together but so naïve Blai, we were kids, kids in love and wanted the world to happen right now, and not realising it couldn't and wouldn't work for us. We did it Blaine; we got to where we wanted to be, in New York. You're going to NYU and I'm on Broadway. We did it without each other but we did it. That shows how strong we are. We can live without each other but we don't have to, that's love Blai. I still love you, so much. I still see us in that nursing home, me talking about you and you watching the tribute to ."

Blaine chuckles. "We shouldn't be basing our future on a corny movie."

Kurt laughs and grips Blaine's hand tighter. "No, but it is apt. I want to live my life with you, the good, the bad, the hard and the easy."

Blaine's breath catches and he stares at Kurt. "That sounded like a proposal."

Kurt smiles. "Not a proposal, more like a promise, like the one you made that Christmas with that gum wrapper ring."

Blaine scoffs. "And I did so well keeping those promises. I promise you Kurt, take me back and I'll stand by your side though the good, the bad, the hard and the easy, leading the standing ovation." He moves closer, trailing his fingers over Kurt's cheek, wiping away the tears.

Kurt leant into the touch, feeling the love he kept for Blaine locked up flow out and bloom across his chest and through his body, heating his cheeks. "Only if I can lead the one for you, Blai." He whispers as Blaine leans in, their eyes shutting as their lips connect, sliding against each other, their tongues licking and slipping into each other's mouths to taste the mouths they hadn't tasted for over a year, familiar tastes and smells spread into them as the rest of the world and the squealing girls by the bar fade into the background, only them, their mouth, joined hands and feelings existing in the world.

The two men finally separated, blushing and ducking their heads, looking at each other shyly through their lashes.

Kurt speaks first, wanting to go back to his apartment and spend as much time as he could with Blaine. "So, would you like to come back to my place and we can carry on catching up?"

Blaine's eyes widen at the flirty, seductive look Kurt gives him and he almost turns the table over getting up. "I'd love to. Let's go."

Kurt laughs. "Hang on speedy, let's go say bye to the girls and tell them not to bother us tonight."

They walk over to where Brittney and Santana are bouncing with happiness and hug them, saying goodbye and letting them know not to expect to see much of them for the rest of the day or night.

Blaine reaches for Kurt's hand like all those years ago across a canary's grave and Kurt takes it, smiling at Blaine and the two men walk out of the shop hand in hand, in love again and happy.

Life starting anew.


End file.
